Chris turns 40!

WOW...hard to believe...he is going to be 40 years old. In my eyes...he's never looked better. We had a birthday party for him this afternoon, although his birthday is tomorrow.

His parents, brother and sister in-law came. It was a very nice gathering. We enjoy their company so much. Too bad we live so far apart.

For Chris' birthday, I created a slide show. When I showed it to Chris for the first time, I made sure we were alone. Good thing...he became very emotional...as did I. I can't watch it without crying. Ugh...what's up with that.

I can take gross things my kids do...bleeding, snot, picking things up from the floor and eating them...I prided myself in thinking I was tough as nails. I'm a MOM! I can take anything. Well...I guess I'm not so tough after all.

I've known Chris for a little over 18 years. We've been through so much in that time. We've experienced some things in the past 18 years that no one else would ever know or possibly understand.

To give you a quick look back...soon after Chris and I were married, he was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Now, today, this condition is somewhat well known and there are many, many treatments. But, Chris was special. Number 1, he was my husband. I love him very much and like most women, you only want the best care for your loved one...no matter what the cost. I dealt with Chris' up and down moods due to his UC. I helped him out in ways that only he can fully understand. I helped him cope with this condition that kept him from going and doing the things he wanted to do. After getting a second opinion, he finally decided that surgery would be the only option he had to beat UC. He was young. He wanted to live a full life. He wanted to have kids. He wasn't even 30 yet. He has a long life a head of him.

The surgery was an obvious success. What some may not know is, Chris had pre-cancerous cells detected in his colon after surgery. The biopsy results were told to us by his surgeon. But, understand how the surgeon told us...first it was VERY EARLY in the morning when he did his rounds. He came in, checked his incision, was flipping through his chart, rambling on about how well the surgery was, the suction bulb thingy, precancerous cells, staples being removed, change in dietary habits, do you have any questions???...uh, yeah..just one...did you say CANCER???

Chris and I both picked up on that one word out of his entire dissertation...casually, the doctor looked at him and said, yes, had you not had the surgery, you very well could be dead in 5 years.

Now, I don't know about you...but when you put a time frame on life, you kind of stop, take a deep breathe, stand a little straighter (as if all of a sudden, your posture really matters) and you take stock in your life...have we done everything that we wanted to do? Have we gone everywhere we wanted to go? What's missing? What have we forgotten?

We were newly married...were we ready for kids? We had just bought our house. We had a dog. But, what does that mean we've accomplished so far? We looked at each other and without one spoken word, I believe we knew we would need to live our lives to the fullest.

Something happens to a woman when her husband looks at her...with tears in his eyes...and says..."no parent should ever have to bury their child...". Well, needless to say, I was thrusted into a place in my life that I never knew existed. I always thought that I took stock in myself. I always thought I was selfish. And, you know what...in a way, I am. I'm selfish in that I want to have my life with my husband. I love this man. I want to spend the rest of my life with him...not the rest of his life. I want to spend the rest of my life with my kids...not the other way around.

Can I tell you...I have always measured Chris up to my father and brother. My father and brother were the two most special men in my life. I found them to be strong, hard working providers for their families. I wanted those same characteristics in the man I married. And you know what, I found him.

I sat here today and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. His smile just lights up a room. His children adore him. I pity the poor soul that dates and will someday marry our daughter. She looks at her daddy the same way I still look at mine. I can only hope and dream she finds her someone special like I did.

Well...its hard to type this blog with tears welling up in my eyes...ok...so, with Chris meeting a new milestone in his life, I move on to say...live life to the fullest. Don't sweat the small stuff. Let your kids run around screaming like the boogy man is chasing them down the hall. Take a deep breathe. Take stock in yourself and the people around you.

OK...I will try to post the slide show. I don't know that I will be able to...but I'm all about dreaming the big dream. I will most likely enlist the help of the best neighbor in the whole world...MINE (NR). She is the best...